The Shape of Our Lives

From the moment we’re born, we are being shaped. From our very first breath, our lives are shaped in ways that affect our character, our direction in life, our relationship with God, and even our future struggles in life. This doesn’t mean that we are not responsible for our choices or that we are “off the hook” for our character flaws (sins). It simply means that external influences are at work, shaping our lives and shaping us into the people we have become.

Much of what shapes us is outside of our control. We don’t get to choose our families, or in what part of the world we are born. Simply being born in the United States means we are shaped by Western culture and values. We would no doubt be different people if we had been born in Africa or Asia. In Acts 17, Paul says something fascinating to the crowd in Athens. He tells his listeners that God places people in specific time periods and dwelling places so that they would seek him (Acts 17:25-27). This means that God chose the time and place for our birth that would give us the best opportunity to know him!

God also chose to place us in families, and those families shape us in numerous ways as we grow up. For example, I lost my mother when I was 6 years old; and that loss shaped my life in significant ways. Being raised in a Christian home meant that I had godly influences in my life. I didn’t face the temptations that others might have. That also left me vulnerable to other types of sin (such as self-righteousness and legalism). These shaping influences were assigned to me by our sovereign God, according to his wisdom.

By default, the world plays a strategic role in shaping our way of thinking. The sheer volume of messages the world sends us gives it a disproportionate share of influence in our lives. While there is no way to pin down an exact number, the general consensus among researchers is that we experience between 4,000 and 10,000 ads per day. Think about how many ads you see during your favorite television show. Add in the ads you hear on the radio, music streaming service, or podcasts; then consider the ads you see on the internet and social media. That’s a lot of messages coming at us—and most of them conflict with the ways that God wants to shape our lives.

Paul’s words to the Roman church are crucial; “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind” (Romans 12:2). This is a verse I’ve known for years; I memorized and recited these words as a teenager. What I failed to appreciate is that those are the only two options available to us. I now realize that we are either being conformed and shaped by the world around us by default, or we are being transformed as we intentionally and purposefully seek to be shaped by the Spirit. The world is pushing hard to make us into its own image—we need to push back just as hard to resist!

 We can push back through prayer, God’s word, choosing beneficial reading and listening resources, and by prioritizing activities that bring us into direct, relational contact with our Christian sisters and brothers. It might also mean limiting our exposure to the messages of television, advertising, and media—while increasing the time we spend with Scripture.

God has ordered our lives with the intent that we will seek him; he wants our lives to be shaped by his grace. We cooperate by choosing practices that will allow the Holy Spirit to shape our lives, and the result is that we will become the kind of people who are able to recognize God’s good, acceptable, and perfect will (Romans 12:2).